i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize