Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Sober January is a disaster.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
