mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
