I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
