I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
