i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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