Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's the barista slut.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
