Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I want a musical about memes.
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