I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
