I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
