Small penises have feelings too.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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