Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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