Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
