I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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