Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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