I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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