What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
