I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
