I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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