My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize