His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
