i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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