My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
