And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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