I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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