Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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