What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
