found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
