you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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