I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize