I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize