Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no, he came in my armpit
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
