Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
