I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
