Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
