Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
