When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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