mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
