I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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