I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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