A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
