Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
