is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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