actually, I'm a sock model
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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