we have officially lost it.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
