please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize