I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
