Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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