you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
