A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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