Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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