She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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