"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I pour the whiskey from now on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
