is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
