I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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