I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
