talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
