Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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