But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
