Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
